How to Juggle Marriage & Nursing School...So You Don't Fail at Both

Balancing marriage and nursing school isn’t always an easy task. Nursing school is hard.

It takes up a big chunk of your life. But it is also extremely short compared to the amount of time that it takes to complete.

In a few semesters, you will have the career of your dreams and start living the life that you’ve always wanted. So, you’ve applied and got accepted into a nursing program—that’s HUGE! Congrats.

But then reality sets in on what this will mean for not only your life, but the life of the people around you that you care about. Including your spouse.

If you’re married or in a long-term relationship and you want it to stay that way, these are some useful tips to keep in mind when trying to balance marriage and nursing school

Have a heart-to-heart with your spouse

This is a big change for the both of you and it deserves a true conversation about the hopes, fears, and expectations you both have.

Presumably, the end goal is a better, financially stable life for your family. Approaching the situation and conversation from this angle puts you both on the same team to generate solutions.

Your life is undergoing a big (but temporary) change. Nursing school will take up more of your time than you would probably prefer.

This means making a shift in your mindset on what ‘normal’ looks. Your house may not always be as clean. Dinner will not always be homemade if you were typically the one to cook it. The laundry may start to pile up.

And you know what?

That is okay.

You just need to get through this challenge unscathed and to do that, you’ll need to lean on your spouse—probably more than you’ve ever had to.

Division of labor sounds kind of cold, I know. But the truth is, you won’t be able to do all the heavy lifting when it comes to the housework and maintenance tasks. This works better when it’s already been discussed.

Will you agree to tackle laundry at the end of the week while they handle the dishes? Don’t be afraid to speak up and ask for what you need.

Otherwise you’ll end up feeling overwhelmed between studying for an upcoming quiz and a sink full of dishes and lunches/dinners to cook.

Schedule quality time…and prioritize it

Quality time is incredibly important during this time.

It will give both of you something to look forward to. Even just once a week can leave you feeling reconnected and ready to take on another week of your tough-as-nails nursing program.

This works best if it’s scheduled into your calendar just like every other important thing that you need to do.

And be sure to protect that time if at all possible.

Outside of an actual emergency, you should view this quality time as non-negotiable. You wouldn’t ditch class or clinical rotations to cook, clean, or run some errands, right? Don’t ditch your spouse for these things either. If you want to cook or clean together, that’s your business.

Just prioritize time together and guard it fiercely.

When you’re on school breaks…TAKE A BREAK

Apart from summer, you’re not going to forget much of anything during a week or two of a term break. So, seriously… take a break.

You may need to build in a day or two to decompress, sure. But try have some genuine, quality time with your spouse, family, friends during breaks. Plan it and make it fun—even better if you can leave the books and study guides behind so you’re not tempted.

You’ll feel much more relaxed and whole after a legitimate break.

Don’t forget to communicate!

As much as you love your spouse, they cannot read your mind.

They are your partner for a reason. Tell them about what’s going on whether its tests, anxieties, or feelings that you’re not smart/good enough (which you totally are, by the way!).

Vulnerability is okay.

Having an outlet for these feelings and emotions is crucial. And being able to express these things to your spouse will allow them to understand where you’re coming from and to be able to support you.

Also, don’t forget to communicate about your spouse’s feelings too.

I know there may be times when you can’t remember to eat because you have a big test to study for. But your spouse has a life as full and complex as yours and you are their partner too. Remember to check in with them about what’s going on with them.

Keep in mind your love languages

Cheesy, I know. But, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman was a real eye opener.

It helped me to better understand the way my husband communicated that he cared about me and how he likes to be shown that I care about him. It also cleared up a lot of misunderstandings and helped us change how we related to each other for the better.

Laugh together

Laughing is a huge stress reliever. Annnnd coincidently, nursing school is very stressful.

On a regular basis, make a point to laugh together. Maybe that’s a Saturday night comedy special, sitcom, or funny movie. Anything that will get you laughing and release some serotonin to combat that cortisol build up.

You can include this in your non-negotiable quality time to help lighten the mood and kick off a relaxing day together.

Celebrate with each other

The good grade, the finished paper, all the little wins. Each tiny win is a step closer to having ‘RN’ behind your name.

Try to celebrate the small wins that inch you closer to that goal. And don’t forget to celebrate your spouse’s wins along the way too.

Be kinder to one another

You may find yourself being on edge more than you ever have before. Nursing school is stressful, but more than that—it’s designed to be stressful.

Nursing programs are made to be rigorous to get you used to juggling a bunch of different demanding priorities at once.

When we get stressed out, it’s usually our loved ones that take the brunt of those frustrations because we feel safe enough to show those frustrations to them rather than to the true source. Instead of turning on one another, lean on one another to get through the process.

Communicate with them and be more kind and patient than you might be typically.

Marriage always takes a little bit of work, but this is especially true in nursing school. If you’re married or in a long-term relationship and you want it to stay that way, you can’t neglect your marriage while you’re going through nursing school.

You may have less time with them. But you can make the most of the time you do have with them until the glorious day that you graduate, and your life goes back to normal.

What are some of your tips for keeping your marriage strong during nursing school? Share them below!